I had this song on repeat in my head today so it seemed appropriate as the title for this entry. How come songs repeat in our heads?? It seems to be especially the ones you don’t want to hear as well. That’s by the by though so I’ll crack on! I’m always getting distracted as you’ll find out.
I struggle with money a lot and I don’t think it’s just because of my mental health problems; I’m really impulsive too and go for short term gratification over thinking into the future, planning and making sensible decisions. It doesn’t come naturally to me to not get what I want immediately. That makes me sound proper spoilt but it actually includes saving money up and waiting to get something and, losing weight fast enough not just materialistic things!
Recently, the past couple of weeks, I’ve been spending more than I usually would (and that’s saying something) on things I usually would think twice about buying. For example, a £99 teddy bear called Harry and an iPhone X 24 month contract. So I had next to nothing in my account and have borrowed just over £200 from my dad which I will be paying back. I find it embarrassing and degrading asking for money but when you’ve bills to pay, can’t balance your books appropriately and have nothing in your account you’ve got limited choices.
Today I had just over £3 in my account and had to pray that my card would go through for the £1.95 peppermint tea (my fave) I was purchasing! It shouldn’t be like this though; I should be in control. I’m not always in control though when it comes to excessive spending due to my mental health. £1000 mulberry handbags spring to mind. I have spent hundreds if not thousands on rubbish. Money I shall never get back unfortunately but that’s something I’ve got to learn to accept.
I’m currently in the process of reading several online guides on budgeting money and am going to have a drop in appointment at my local citizens advice.
I am also receiving emails from the Money and Mental Health Policy Institute which Martin Lewis launched. They have some tips and tricks to help people balance the books when suffering from mental health issues. I’ve also thought about creating a plan for when I’m not right that gives other people control over my money. In my case it would be my parents.
Mine and my sisters favourite film is Confessions of a Shopaholic which we seem to find more hilarious than the rest of the nation put together! But it teaches an important lesson; money problems usually lead to big issues which make people unhappy. I think I may need to watch that film just one more time..